Friendship

Happy International Friendship Day

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
– Tennessee Williams

Many profound things have been written about friendship, but the one I have come back to time and again in my own life is that there are friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends who are for life.

Friends for a reason appear in your life to meet a specific need, whether you recognise that need or not.  They may feel like a godsend, arriving right when you really need help, or it may only be when they have left your life again that you see the lesson they came into your life to help you learn.

I had a friend called Ed back in my twenties and I see him as one of these people.  He died very young, which was tragic, but his funeral was a masterclass in how to be remembered.  I still speak of him fifteen years later and the way he managed to make every person at his funeral feel close to him and uplifted by having known him rather than simply sad that he was gone.

My Oliver was one of these people too.  He taught me so many lessons about gratitude and fortitude.  He saw greatness in me long before I ever could.  He also changed my life completely by giving me the gift of parenthood.  I wish he could have lived to share it, but his job here was done.

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Friends for a season stem from common experience.  The friends you’re really close to at college or university but drift away from when your lives go in different directions.  The work mates you spend most of your waking hours with, but on changing jobs you quickly lose touch with.  The other mums you spend vast amounts of time with when you have small babies, but the season changes when maternity leave ends.  It is all real, but it is only for a season.

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Then there are the lifers.

The people who will offer to drop everything and get on a plane to be with you when your world has fallen apart, and mean it.  The people who will let you rant and vent about things they don’t really understand, because they know that you need a safe place to let it out.  The people who will tell you when you’re being a dick.  The people who will tell you to take the leap of faith, because they believe in you and will believe it for you until you believe in yourself.  The people who you can see after a period of years and it is as if the previous conversation merely hit a semi colon.  The people who encourage you to keep growing as a person, and will have the challenging debates with you about your beliefs and theirs.  The people who will dress up as superheros at lunchtime for your birthday because you’ve asked them to.

I don’t believe you only get five of them, but I do believe Jim Rohn knew what he was talking about when he said

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

As our lives change, so do our circles.  It doesn’t mean that moving from one circle to another has to be abrupt or painful or involve bridge burning.  We simply learn to trust our gut instincts to go spend more time with people who ignite a spark in us, who challenge us to do better and be better.  Like I always say, if your circle doesn’t support you, it might be time to find a new circle.

Your capacity for friendship and bonding is only limited by the amount you are willing to give.

What does this have to do with business?  Everything.

Our successes are more meaningful and our losses less painful when we have somebody to share them with.  If that somebody really understands what each success and loss mean to you, then you are blessed indeed.  Life and business are all about the journey rather than the destination, so who would you like to travel with?  What kind of companion are you?